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baby
January 2010 
Grocery stores and toddlers
Posted on May 19th, 2009
by 
J~E~S~S
J~E~S~S
It's a challenge to bring a young mobile child to the grocery store. I'd like to encourage young moms to remember that when children are three, they want independence but they're not quite ready. Use the child seat and safety belt in the grocery cart/buggy, no matter how much they protest.
One time last month my son wanted to go in the main basket instead of in the dedicated child seat in the grocery cart/buggy. I let him do it. I handed things for him to put in the basket. As he was bending down to place an item, he lost his balance (and I wasn't even pushing the cart!) and banged his face on the metal edge of the basket. There I was, carrying a screaming, bleeding toddler through the store to the meat department, where they offered me their sink and a bag of ice. He was fine after that.
This week I went back to the same store. This time, my son only wanted to get in the kind of cart that had a plastic car with a little steering wheel attached. Since none were available, I let him walk next to me. I stood in line at the bank in that grocery store, and while it was my turn, my son wandered. He encountered an 18 month old toddler and started playing chase with him while I was occupied at the teller's. I turned around and found the other little boy had wandered deep into the fruits and vegetables section, but my son was nowhere to be found.
I dropped the question I was asking the teller and began a light jog through the produce section. He was not near the balloons in the florist section. He was not anywhere in the produce section. He was not in the bathroom. By this time I simply began shouting his name through the store. I began asking random people if they'd seen a little boy. No one had.
Now people were becoming alarmed. There was a lady jogging through the store shouting her son's name. There must be a lost child. Then I found a person who said she saw him run that way. I was on his trail. Now people began signaling to me as I ran. There must have been three people who just pointed the direction they saw him run. They just KNEW what I was jogging for.
"Little boy? Blond hair?" His finger pointed to his left, back towards the balloons.
I rounded the corner, two more people waved at me, signaling he had passed. A man near the teller's station tried to stall him while he waved to me that my son was there.
My son made a little trip around the store, but found his way back to where he lost me. I met him back at the bank. I picked him up, found the nearest chair in the movie rental section, and gave him a time out.
I asked him to repeat after me, "I will stay next to mommy in the store."
I'm grateful that the people in the store rallied together to help me reunite with him. When I think on what happened, I could easily have avoided this if only I'd taken a shopping cart and strapped him in. I'm vulnerable in the store in two places, at the bank and at the checkout, oh, and if I have to stand in line at customer service. Any time attention has to be on something else for more than 30 seconds, moms are vulnerable and need to make sure their child is secured and can't run away. A three year old does not yet have the presence of mind to remember to stay close. I saw a three year old boy leading his mommy on a wild goose chase through the parking lot. He was having a blast, running in front of my car, weaving in and out of parked cars, playing "chase" with his frustrated mom. They will run away at that age.
One time last month my son wanted to go in the main basket instead of in the dedicated child seat in the grocery cart/buggy. I let him do it. I handed things for him to put in the basket. As he was bending down to place an item, he lost his balance (and I wasn't even pushing the cart!) and banged his face on the metal edge of the basket. There I was, carrying a screaming, bleeding toddler through the store to the meat department, where they offered me their sink and a bag of ice. He was fine after that.
This week I went back to the same store. This time, my son only wanted to get in the kind of cart that had a plastic car with a little steering wheel attached. Since none were available, I let him walk next to me. I stood in line at the bank in that grocery store, and while it was my turn, my son wandered. He encountered an 18 month old toddler and started playing chase with him while I was occupied at the teller's. I turned around and found the other little boy had wandered deep into the fruits and vegetables section, but my son was nowhere to be found.
I dropped the question I was asking the teller and began a light jog through the produce section. He was not near the balloons in the florist section. He was not anywhere in the produce section. He was not in the bathroom. By this time I simply began shouting his name through the store. I began asking random people if they'd seen a little boy. No one had.
Now people were becoming alarmed. There was a lady jogging through the store shouting her son's name. There must be a lost child. Then I found a person who said she saw him run that way. I was on his trail. Now people began signaling to me as I ran. There must have been three people who just pointed the direction they saw him run. They just KNEW what I was jogging for.
"Little boy? Blond hair?" His finger pointed to his left, back towards the balloons.
I rounded the corner, two more people waved at me, signaling he had passed. A man near the teller's station tried to stall him while he waved to me that my son was there.
My son made a little trip around the store, but found his way back to where he lost me. I met him back at the bank. I picked him up, found the nearest chair in the movie rental section, and gave him a time out.
I asked him to repeat after me, "I will stay next to mommy in the store."
I'm grateful that the people in the store rallied together to help me reunite with him. When I think on what happened, I could easily have avoided this if only I'd taken a shopping cart and strapped him in. I'm vulnerable in the store in two places, at the bank and at the checkout, oh, and if I have to stand in line at customer service. Any time attention has to be on something else for more than 30 seconds, moms are vulnerable and need to make sure their child is secured and can't run away. A three year old does not yet have the presence of mind to remember to stay close. I saw a three year old boy leading his mommy on a wild goose chase through the parking lot. He was having a blast, running in front of my car, weaving in and out of parked cars, playing "chase" with his frustrated mom. They will run away at that age.
Access: Public
Jess, I don't even want to imagine how you must've felt when he wandered. Don't you wish there were clones of you?
I had a similar experience with my youngest grandson about 10 years ago (at age 4). I was shopping with his father (my son) and he decided he had to go to the washroom. I volunteered to take him, but he pulled away from me, and of course I was in hot pursuit, and when I once did manage to grab him, he screamed and pulled away. Some interfering mall-shoppers decided I was attempting to abduct him, and in the process of being held back by them, he totally disappeared off my radar. By the time I had convinced them he was my precocious grandson, he was no where to be found.
I finally made it, struggling to hobble along with my cane (clear across the mall) to the washrooms, where he was just leaving and heading back across the mall. By this time my son had become concerned that we weren't back, and came looking for us - I could see his 6'3” high Stetson hat bobbing through the crowds, scanning with a big look of concern on his face. Needless to say, the child was severely reprimanded, both instore and once we got back to the car. But at 4 years old, I'm sure he thought we were making a big fuss over nothing.
I think I came about as close to having a heart-attack that day that I ever want to get. Every time I hear of a child abduction or missing child, my heart hurts for the parents. It has been especially painful lately with the abduction from school of little eight-year old Tori Stafford, in a city only an hour or so from here. Unfortunately, her story didn't turn out so well.
Put him on a leash, if necessary - but keep him safe, please. (I know many people will probably be appalled at that suggestion, but in reality, small children are very much like small animals, with short memories and fast little legs).
Hugs,
Gem
Meenakshi: Thanks. I got worried after four or five minutes of looking for him. I lost all nervousness about speaking loudly in front of others. I asked people both in English and in Spanish. The family of the 18 month old boy were Spanish speakers. There was a Spanish speaking janitor cleaning the bathrooms. I was just talking to anyone in front of me.
Gemstar: What a story. I'm at a loss. Firstly, you had a cane and mall shoppers thought you wanted to abduct a little boy. That's insanity! I do remember that when my oldest was four years old, that was the hardest year I had with him, in terms of parenting. At 4, they really can get ultra-independant, to the point of being argumentative and stubborn.
And then the story of Tori…I'm sorry to hear it. She was 8. Did the news ever tell you if her abductor was someone she knew or a stranger?
“Did the news ever tell you if her abductor was someone she knew or a stranger?”
Her family had just moved from one neighbourhood to another - the 28 year old abductor and/or his 18 yo girlfriend (whom Tori knew, and who lead her away, as shown in the school surveillance video) lived a few doors away from their previous home. The girlfriend is attempting to cooperate in helping to find her body - she has a general area, but not an exact location, where the guy dumped it, in a neighbouring area of fields and brush. It is just so sad….. You just never know who you can trust….