Cross posted from my blog Live On Purpose

Overcoming fear seems to be the topic of the week, as The Women Masters conference call was on living a fearless life, and on a separate blog Happy Lotus, Nadia isolated the movie Defending Your Life as one that masterfully deals with the topic of overcoming fears.

Wikipedia introduces fear:   Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. Bill Tancer's top ten list of fears as culled from search engine keywords consisted of flying, heights, clowns, intimacy, death, rejection, people, snakes, success, and driving.  In general, people appear to be most afraid of two things: the threat of pain or death, and the threat of social rejection or isolation.

I think it is fear of  "the threat of social rejection or isolation" that drives us all to adopt strange and dysfunctional coping skills. We're quirky. We have baggage. We are eccentric. We are trying to feel as though we fit in to something. Isn't the entire field of counseling/therapy devoted to helping people get over their fears?

The web site that was introduced to me this week on The Women Masters call was Fearless Living by Rhonda Britton. I had never heard of her before, even though she's managed to appear on Oprah several times, she's written four books, and she has a daytime reality drama, Starting Over. (I don't watch very much daytime TV!) But I know just from the short bit I heard from her that she is authentic! In fact, getting to your authenticity was a big topic in her call. How can I live authentically if I'm stuck battling my demons by constantly resisting that which I'm afraid of? I can't. One can't dream of living a life of purpose when shackled by fear. Check out her programs and books because I know she helps people step by step.

I have issues and baggage! For me in this moment, the act of keeping this blog titled Live on Purpose is my way of holding myself accountable for my own evolution. It forces me to grow beyond my comfort zone, it allows me to converse with wonderful people I would have never met, and it keeps me constantly seeking out new information in the topic I love dearly, self-growth!

I remember that I posted a video from Isha last year, and I decided to check in with her Youtube channel just now. (Really! It's not because our Gaia sidebars are flanked with ads for the movie, it's because I made this blog post before I checked in with Gaia)Looks like her movie "Why Walk When You Can Fly" is ready! She says, "we are not our thoughts, we are not our fears, we are not our emotions, we are so much more than that!"

Cross posted from Live On Purpose blog. I think this webinar will be very interesting, it's free, and they will be talking about The Big Chat coming up in LA. I encourage you to register for the webinar using the last link below. If you want to meet me in person in Los Angeles next month, register for this webinar and then decide if you like the speakers enough to see them in person, because I'll be attending The Big Chat.

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During the past several weeks, I have been introducing you to a few outstanding individuals who are doing big things towards living a purposeful life. Do you remember these two?

Michael Neill and his Genius Catalyst web site and Feel Happy Now book and movement.

Bill Cummins and his “What one person can do” program and Boothby Institute.

These two speakers will be leading a free webinar on Tuesday the 19th at 11 am pacific.  Don’t worry if you’re at work during that time, because a recorded audio will be sent to registered participants. I would like you to go register right now to hear these awesome speakers for free. Even if you can’t free your schedule during that time slot, go register. Here is the information about the call:

The Big Chat Presents…

a free, LIVE Webinar

with Michael Neil,  Bill Cumming and YOU
TUESDAY, MAY 19TH, 11am Pacific, 2pm Eastern

for a conversation about LIVING FROM THE INSIDE OUT

 

• How does one need to think in order to be successful in any economy?
• What is the key to feeling peaceful no matter what is going on around you?
• What are the brilliant problem solving approaches used by two master coaches?

Based on questions about what is most important to you right now….

Register here for the Big Chat Webinar and you’ll get the webinar details and special code to join.

You can join via the web or phone and the call will include live Questions and Answers with two brilliant coaches!

This call will be recorded, and will be made available at no charge to everyone registered.

What a strange day it's been, and I don't know what to make of it. I awoke with a dream of someone I know giggling while they put a black widow spider on the back of my neck and asking it to bite me. I didn't know if this dream was a warning that something I said on my interview yesterday was wrong, or if it was a foreshadowing of something to come. I could imagine two different situations it could apply to, but can't go into it here.

I received wrong directions from a gas station attendant.

I began paying attention to my backyard because I've let it go to waste for five years. I was picking up trash, moving flagstones with my son, and trying to get the slide back on the plastic playhouse, to no avail.

Then I showed my good neighbor what I had done. He's in his mid 70s. We talked like normal, I walked him around my backyard and escorted him back to his yard. Then I went to close my garage door so the dogs won't run away when my 3 year old scooted over to talk to our neighbor in his yard.

It was only the amount of time it took me to clear the trash can from blocking the garage door! It must have been two minutes that my son was talking to him in his yard. Then my son comes running to tell me "he fell down."

When I got there, my neighbor was unconscious but breathing hard. He has a history of seizures. He had had a seizure while sitting and talking with my son. His own grown son came out of the house to tell him he had a phone call, and he had already fallen by then, and there my son was, looking at him. He'd gashed his head on the cement or rocks and his blood was mixed with the mud from his freshly watered yard.

By then another male neighbor had come over and we three discussed what to do. Should we call the hospital? His son told us he'd heard he was not supposed to call the ambulance after a seizure. I asked for a towel to get the mud off his face. I wiped off the blood that was pooling in his eye, and cleaned the mud from his face. I saw the contusion was large, already black and blue, right on the side of his forehead. What if he gave himself a concussion or what if he had injuries? He couldn't talk to us. He was breathing deeply as if in a deep sleep.

When I suggested that his injury was pretty bad, then the neighbor suggested the son had better call the ambulance. The son was sure he'd come out of the seizure by the time help arrived. However, he still wasn't responsive when the paramedics came. But he did struggle when they put the neck brace on and strapped him to the stability board. I watched as they took him away, and his lady friend who had been on the telephone had arrived and decided to ride in the ambulance.

Oh, the thoughts that go through my head! I have to take deep breaths to chase away the thought that perhaps the exercise he got while walking in my yard brought on the seizure, or perhaps my little son had said something or triggered a memory that caused the seizure? Then I can counter those thoughts with the suggestion made by my older son, that it was a good thing our young son was there when the seizure happened so he could run and tell me. When we question him, the information we get is that our neighbor was sitting down, he didn't look good, then he fell.  My 3 year old was the only witness.

My neighbor's son said perhaps it was a good thing he had gone to my yard because he was about to get in his car and drive to his lady friend's house. It would have been more disasterous if the seizure happened in the car.
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I just heard that he's woken up and can remember being in my backyard, but not the fall. That's good news.

It's a challenge to bring a young mobile child to the grocery store. I'd like to encourage young moms to remember that when children are three, they want independence but they're not quite ready. Use the child seat and safety belt in the grocery cart/buggy, no matter how much they protest.

One time last month my son wanted to go in the main basket instead of in the dedicated child seat in the grocery cart/buggy. I let him do it. I handed things for him to put in the basket. As he was bending down to place an item, he lost his balance (and I wasn't even pushing the cart!) and banged his face on the metal edge of the basket. There I was, carrying a screaming, bleeding toddler through the store to the meat department, where they offered me their sink and a bag of ice. He was fine after that.

This week I went back to the same store. This time, my son only wanted to get in the kind of cart that had a plastic car with a little steering wheel attached. Since none were available, I let him walk next to me. I stood in line at the bank in that grocery store, and while it was my turn, my son wandered. He encountered an 18 month old toddler and started playing chase with him while I was occupied at the teller's. I turned around and found the other little boy had wandered deep into the fruits and vegetables section, but my son was nowhere to be found.

I dropped the question I was asking the teller and began a light jog through the produce section. He was not near the balloons in the florist section. He was not anywhere in the produce section. He was not in the bathroom. By this time I simply began shouting his name through the store. I began asking random people if they'd seen a little boy. No one had.

Now people were becoming alarmed. There was a lady jogging through the store shouting her son's name. There must be a lost child. Then I found a person who said she saw him run that way. I was on his trail. Now people began signaling to me as I ran. There must have been three people who just pointed the direction they saw him run. They just KNEW what I was jogging for.

"Little boy? Blond hair?" His finger pointed to his left, back towards the balloons.

I rounded the corner, two more people waved at me, signaling he had passed. A man near the teller's station tried to stall him while he waved to me that my son was there.

My son made a little trip around the store, but found his way back to where he lost me. I met him back at the bank. I picked him up, found the nearest chair in the movie rental section, and gave him a time out.

I asked him to repeat after me, "I will stay next to mommy in the store."

I'm grateful that the people in the store rallied together to help me reunite with him. When I think on what happened, I could easily have avoided this if only I'd taken a shopping cart and strapped him in. I'm vulnerable in the store in two places, at the bank and at the checkout, oh, and if I have to stand in line at customer service. Any time attention has to be on something else for more than 30 seconds, moms are vulnerable and need to make sure their child is secured and can't run away. A three year old does not yet have the presence of mind to remember to stay close. I saw a three year old boy leading his mommy on a wild goose chase through the parking lot. He was having a blast, running in front of my car, weaving in and out of parked cars, playing "chase" with his frustrated mom. They will run away at that age.

My last vacation was like touring an unfamiliar country with a personal sherpa, or guide, to show me how things are done. I went to El Salvador, my husband's home country last year for the first time after eleven years of marriage. I met his family and extended family. I met the woman who baptized him when he was a baby. I met his step-brothers, who share the family business of running a chain of grocery stores with his father, also a pastor. I met his sister and half sister and their children. I got tours of local beaches from people who know where to go. I was blessed with a trip to the most scenic restaurant in the world, where I was serenaded by a local guitarist and his son: a mariachi duo. I saw the poorest parts of town and the richest parts of town. I gained perspective on life.